Friday, April 16, 2010
~~Just Dont Know Anymore~~
Maybe someone out there can relate or maybe someone has some suggestions. I have been having issues with my pre-teen daughter and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have tried the spankings, punishment (taking the cell phone, iPod, and all them other little gadgets) I have even threatened to send her to live with her father. Nothing seems to be helping and she knows I will not send her to her fathers to live with her father but I think I’m going to have to call her bluff. I know when I was her age I probably went through the rebellion stage to but for some reason I don’t think I was that rebellious. I'm always asking what the problem is but she always says there isn't one but I know there has to be something that eating at her because she has changed so much over the last year or so. I miss my sweet lil' girl, I just don’t know what to do anymore.
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Marlo, I am sorry to hear about your daughter. How old is she, and how old does she think she is? :) I have a 15, 13 and a 7 year old, all boys hon and i'll tell you what, all problems, all the time! I agree with you sweetie, you are gonna have to call her bluff and as much as you don't want to send her to her fathers house, if you do, she'll appreciate you that much more when you bring her back home. I am divorced as well, and when they went to live with their father, as much as it killed me to do it, it changed them for the better, and they now have a greater respect for me. It is worth it and in the end, she'll thank you for it. :)
ReplyDeleteI have two boys and they both went through a rebellious phase. I tried to keep my cool as much as possible but with boundaries. I truly believe in picking your battles. I do not like using the words, " do it now" because it only builds to resentment. I tell them to clean their rooms but would also say I expect it done by a certain hour. That would give them enough time to huff and puff without leading to an argument. Those years were the most miserable for me. My young one changed his attitude after I began to express how their behavior made me feel. It all eventually passed and now they are two confident and thoughtful young men. Do not give up and do not let it tear you down. Remember teen years are all about self also known as the selfish years. =)
ReplyDeleteThank You Ladies! I appreciate your advice and I will try not to let her tear get to me to much but I tell you what I am so tired of it. I don’t want to give in to her or the situation because I know that sweet little angel is still there somewhere I just have to figure out what’s stopping her from immerging.
ReplyDeleteYour very welcome. I know your so tired of it, believe me. I know! :) Your angel is definitely still in there, she's just coming into her own right now, finding herself or who she thinks she is. I remember being like that, and my mother looking at me like i had horns growing out my head. Just make sure that above and beyond everything else, she knows, your still there for her. Even if you just say it in passing and she looks at you like your crazy, just slip it to her, "i'm here for you, ya know" and walk away. She'll appreciate that. :) Keep your head up girl, it's not the end of the world. you just have a rebellious teen, welcome to the club (we meet on thursdays) ;)
ReplyDeleteHmm, I'm single-moming right now, my husband is abroad for a longer period of time and it is very trying. My kids are 14, 12 and 9. The two younger ones are boys and are driving me nuts, mainly with their fighting, my 14-year old daughter is still mostly a charm... I would say lay off a bit, just make sure she accepts your boundaries, that's the main thing they need, it seems. You have to figure out what kind of punishment hurts her the most - my older son hates having his computer priviledges cut, my younger son loves being outside, so not letting himn play outside motivates him.
ReplyDeleteMarlo, I can't imagine what it is like to raise kids alone, but I can tell you that I haave three teenagers and the youngest one is thirteen. There are times I don't even know if I should speak to her or not. I do know that with both my girls the oldest being eighteen that they have a harder time making the adjustment from a little girl to a young lady. I believe that it will get better. If you eer need to talk just drop me a line. I am a good listner and I hope I will have some insight that will help you out. Hang in there!
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